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Emotionally Healthy Faith

I often feel a sense of frustration in today’s political culture where everyone is always trying to “win” with truth!  I have for some time known that black and white thinking thinking is a sign of spiritual and emotional immaturity and it seems like many candidates running for office have figured out that condemnation draws a crowd of supporters(John 8:1-11).  It seems to me that often missing in many candidates, and many relationships in general, is an inability to process uncomfortable thoughts that allow enough grace, mercy, and safety for all sides to express themselves.  A character trait often missing for many running for office.

As Sue and I lead Marriage Re-builders, a ministry for marriages in crisis,  at our church we have a saying:

Safety + Being Heard and Understood = Basic Building Blocks of Rebuilding Intimacy

Years ago Sue and I learned a dance called east coast swing.  Many years later we learned a new dance called west coast swing.  What we found out while learning the new dance was that in the middle of west coast “swinging” we would all of a sudden start to east coast swing.  The reason for this was because we had established a muscle memory in ourselves that knew only how to east coast swing.   It took us quite some time to unlearn the old muscle memory of east coast swing and to learn the new muscle memory of how to west coast swing.  I believe, today, we could probably do both without having any issues.

For us to grow relation-ally we often need to “practice”  and exercise new emotional muscles.  Often the muscle memory of our old emotional muscles will take over.   Like dancing, to learn to exercise new emotional muscles we will need to practice using them. It will require  grace, mercy, and often putting down our desire to “win” to explore the thoughts and feelings that we may have never exercised before.  We may need to find safe people and community where we can “practice” this.  We may need to find mentors that allow us to express those thoughts and feelings and rather than fix us they allow a process to take place that requires just the rights amounts of grace, mercy,  faith, and time.

So, Safety + Being Heard and Understood is really the foundation for us to express more intimate and difficult thoughts and feelings.

Below is BLOG topic I wrote several years ago about dancing called the “Cosmic Dance of Life”.. also about learning this relational dance.

https://centralityofthegospel.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/the-cosmic-dance-of-life/

 

 

 

Featured post

The cosmic dance of life

My wife and I are taking dance lessons again.  A couple of years back we learned west coast swing.  Now we are learning a slow dance called night club 2 step.  I really like it. Not only does it give the two of us something  to do during our long winters in Minnesota, but I also love the symbology of dancing and how it is a communication style of  non verbal cues  between 2 people.  The entire dance hinges on a “connection” between 2 people.  For the dance to succeed in looking like a dance it requires some very basic skills of highly subtle communication. Once those basic skills are mastered you can move on to more “styling” in your dance.

For the dancing to start being successful it requires 2 things. First, I need to communicate the dance moves to Sue in a way she understands.   In dancing a lot of these are subtle things you do to communicate your intent.  This connection between 2 people is what makes the dance work.  If the leader gives the wrong understanding to the follower it does not look like much of a dance. If the follower back leads the dance it is not very much fun for the leader and its definitely not how dancing was designed to be like.

Second, to move on to where the dance really looks good and start making progress Sue needs to feel safe in the dance communication going on between us.  If that safety is not there she is not willing to move on to learning the next thing to make dancing even more fun.  Furthermore, A lack of safety sucks the fun right of out dancing for me and her.

Those are the building blocks of dancing. Communicating  our intentions with understanding  and providing a safe environment where can grow and move on to more advanced and more fun dance moves!!  Growing with my wife is is much like dancing.   Intimacy and closeness with  my wife requires understanding and safety. Safety and understanding are the building blocks of intimacy and both, like dancing, require effort and intentionality as we take specific steps to grow together.  To communicate with understanding and safety requires some very deep roots in Gods love and mercy because, quite often it is NOT safe to communicate our shortcomings and vulnerabilitites to other sinners.  Also, we strive and work hard to protect our image of performance as a good performing employee, nice person, or moral achiever.   We communicate our strengths but.. gasp!…. never our weaknesses.   When we live up to our performance expectations we feel good about ourselves and when we don’t we feel like failures.

However, when we create an environment to safely share our weaknesses (James 5:16) and we live with the grace and mercy narrative of the cross  in how we behave toward other sinners we have the recipe for growth and change and finally have a chance at …. real intimacy.  This intimacy is not rooted in the performance and expectations of the other person but it finally has real understanding.  It loves progress but does not demand perfection.   We can put finally put down the performance achievement mask and be real with each other.

Finally, intimacy must be about something shared.  For years as Sue and I were raising the kids we seemed to be on separate missions.  Our shared lives were dismal as I became rooted in my job and she became more rooted in the children.  So what are you sharing? For Sue and I we now share workouts together, walks, devotions, a few games, some deep conversations and of course … we are trying something new …. dancing.

As we enjoy our new dancing skills I also have a vision I established about 5 years ago that I am temporarily calling for this blog topic  “the cosmic dance of life” . <—Link

Merry Christmas to you all!

Practicing the Presence: 6/9/2016

After practicing the presence of God last night my mind reflected on some things that Kyle Fever said in my Synoptics class video. We often read the book of Matthew like some of the things are not possible. In other words we read it as something just to point us to Christ and our need for Him. However that is not the message… at least the way Matthew is telling the story.  Many of those things in Matthew, in community, are totally possible.

I thought how much better could practicing the presence of God be when I think they are possible. How much more delight in my conversation with God will there be?  I often think to myself “It (or I) have always been this way. It will never change”. To not live in either fear or selfish entitlement of my own thoughts and feelings…. but to reflect on Gods presence and through him all things are possible.

Just my .02c worth on practicing the presence reflections last night.

– Jon

When Forgiveness is Incomplete

I was reading Matthew as  part of a Synoptics Gospel class I am taking.  One of the things my instructor said was we often we read scripture through an individual lens.   However, Matthew is meant to be read with a community lens.  In other words when Jesus is saying you to the disciples he really means Ya’ all.  In other words the community of disciples.

If you look at the bigger structure of Matthew the sermon on the mount is not commands to the disciples but they are rather an example of what Gods community should look like. Matthew went to  to clarify and fulfill Jesus purpose and mission of the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.  A continual contrast of the the earthly kingdoms vs the disciples heaven on Earth continues to be contrasted in Matthew.  Then later on Matthew discusses forgiveness.

 

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?”

22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![b]

The above reference was during Jesus’ discourse to his disciples about forgiving others that are a part of our Christian community.  I can’t help but think the words of “I forgive” and going through just a “process of forgiveness” falls far short of living in an intimate community of discipleship with other Christians and far short of what I am reading in the book of Matthew.  We often neglect the nuances and balance that the Synoptic Gospels offer us, neglecting the weightier matters of scripture for a more simplistic understanding and reading of the Gospels.

For me forgiveness is finally complete when I am back in intimate relationship in the community of believers and the ones I have wronged.  Anything less is not what I read as Jesus’ message in Matthew.

 

Gospel Reductionism

The Gospel is the commonly defined as the “good news” of Jesus Christ and His message of hope and grace for man.  Pennington in his book, Reading the Gospels Wisely, expands on why our interpretation of the Gospels is of utmost and paramount importance.  The question I would like to address at the end of this report is:  If we deviate too far from this question of why the Gospels are important, do we leave the good news of Jesus Christ and the message of His Kingdom completely behind?   First, Pennington highlights “the why” as he discusses how Paul directly and bluntly challenges Peter and the Galatians (pg. 5) for not acting in line with the truth of the Gospel (Gal 2:14).  Paul saw Peter as attempting to add Torah obedience to Jesus’ Gospel message, thereby turning away from the message of hope and grace — which was really no good news at all.  Pennington describes Paul’s
continuous and persistent emphasis on the Gospel message in other letters he writes as well (pg. 5).  Second, Pennington highlights the weight and frequency of how the word Gospel is used in the Synoptic Gospels.  In Matthew, Mark, and Luke, the word “Gospel” was used five, seven and ten times, respectively.  More importantly, Pennington says, is how and the word Gospel was used.  Pennington describes the phrase “the Gospel of the Kingdom” as Matthew’s desire to communicate the weight, significance, and centrality of the Jesus’ message of hope and grace for mankind (pg. 12).

Pennington goes on to discuss four areas that stood out to me that I want to highlight in the rest of this paper. These four areas are (1) Gospel reductionism, (2) the richness of having four Gospels, (3) understanding the larger framework of the Gospels, and (4) posture in reading the Gospels.

First, I believe, Pennington has found a deep need to communicate his message in the book because of recent trends in churches today.  He describes nine reasons why the Gospels are important.  Most pronounced to me was when he describes a form of Gospel reductionism (pg. 39). He specifically highlights Lutheran reductionism but I agree with Kyle Fever (Synoptic 1 Video) when he said during the lectures that other church denominations can engage in Gospel reductionism as well.    Pennington goes on to profoundly say “but movements over time always get dehydrated and reduced down to a bouillon-cube state so that they can easily be transferred and promulgated” (pg. 39).  For this reason, Pennington says, we need to study the Gospels wisely because they have been the central message of the Church throughout history (pg. 38).  In a related thought to  Gospel reductionism he describes how encountering Jesus’ true story and intent in the Gospels can help us grow instead of reducing scripture into “neat little boxes of truth” (pg. 48).

Second, Pennington describes a richness of having four Gospel books in the bible that one Gospel could not provide (pg. 70).  Each Gospel book has differences in wording and in the order of some of the parables and events of Jesus life. . He describes this as different “lines of sight” obtained from different perspectives (pg. 61).  By reading the Gospels horizontally (comparing the various wording of each Gospel parable in the various synoptic Gospels) we can gain a deeper meaning of scripture as we reflect on why each writer chose different words to describe similar events in the life of Jesus Christ. Furthermore, differences in order of parables tells us that the Gospel message cannot be interpreted exclusively through historical means, but we also need to interpret the Gospels theologically with an understanding that the intent of the Gospel writers was to highlight Jesus and His Kingdom and purpose (Kyle Fever: Synoptic 1 Video).  Pennington goes on to say that the gospel writers’ interpretations may not be to represent the “exact words” of Jesus Christ but they do represent Jesus’ “own voice” and intent.

Third, Pennington highlights the various approaches one can take to read the Gospels and discusses the “what strikes me” approach (WSM) vs narrative analysis of the stories.  He describes the WSM approach as “nugget hunting” for truth and says it can lead to missing the nuances and essence of the story itself (pg. 180). In contrast narrative analysis attempts to move beyond individual stories and bring into light the larger constructs of the story itself.   Narrative analysis would take into account things like identifying the rising intent and action of the story, the climax of the story, and finally the falling action of the story (pg. 173). Furthermore, we can observe broader items in the Gospels that he calls acts, cycles, and literary structures.  He describes this process as “panning out” to understand the bigger picture that the Gospel writer is trying to tell (pg. 187) so we can dig out the deeper nuances of the Gospel message.  Pennington concludes that we must not forget that the Gospel message and the parables are telling a bigger story that spans the entirety of the Gospel messages (pg. 189). Beyond that even the Gospels stretch across the entire canon of scripture (pg. 198).

Fourth, Pennington discusses the importance of the posture and lens of how we interpret scripture. Even though there is no one right way to interpret scripture he goes on to profoundly say that “the most important part of reading Holy scripture well is not our method or theory but our posture and goal” (pg. 137). By having the right posture and goal we will have a more productive reading and interpretation of the Gospel messages where we see nuance and the intended meanings and goals of the Gospel writer.

During the Synoptic Gospels pt.1 videos we had opportunity to apply some of Pennington’s thoughts to the book of Matthew.  I was struck that even in the geneology of Matthew there seemed to be purpose and intent that flowed into the message Matthew was trying to tell later in his Gospel.  Matthew chooses different people to include in the geneology (plus several women) than the other Gospel writers as well as different starting and stopping points of the geneology.  Kyle Fever highlighted some thoughts as to why and it was interesting that even in the geneology Matthew had significant meaning and purpose.

Kyle discussed how Matthew spanned across the canon in multiple prophecy fulfillments on the Old Testament (OT). Even in the geneology, again, there is much parallelism to the OT exodus story.

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Gospel Reductionism

In Jonathon Penningtons book, Reading the Gospels wisely, he discusses a loss of emphasis on the Gospel.  He says:

In many ways the loss of emphasis on the Gospels is a function of reductionism of the protestant reformation, especially in some Lutheran versions that run all scriptures through a hyper sensitive law versus gospel grid.

So for the purpose of this BLOG I am calling this loss of the Gospel Gospel reductionism.

I agree with Pennington that Gospel reductionism is a real issue today.  My BLOG is titled partially because I have personally seen how this has played out in relationships as well as in churches that seem to make other things central to their agendas.  Many years ago I had a Pastor the did a study on denominational differences.  I still remember something he said that sticks to me today (paraphrased from memory):

Both the calvinist and the arminian use human reason to interpret scripture in different ways.  The Lutheran can allow seemingly paradoxical truths stand on its own as it tries to interpret scripture through the Gospels.

Of course the battle cry from Luther was sola scriptura, sola fide, sola gratia, Sola Cristus… scripture lone, faith alone, grace alone and Christ alone.

I agree with Pennington on Gospel reductionism for the ELCA Lutheran church… especially in light of the ELCA decisions and trends over the last 15-20 years as it deflates the truth of the Gospels and conflates grace.  The ELCA church has made it self an easy target for the label “Gospel reductionism”.  I would also take slight  issue with Pennington in highlighting specifically the Lutheran church since the Lutheran Church was founded on the idea of giving high regard to the Gospels and the LCMS today still interprets scripture through a gospel-centric hermeneutic. Gospel reductionism also exists in other church systems — although it comes out in completely different ways than the ELCA’s method of gospel reductionism.

Pennington goes on to say:

But movements overtime always get dehydrated and reduced down to a boullion-cube state that can easily be transferred and promulgated. The first thing to go is always nuance and balance.

The Gospels are very challenging and to simplify into a “boullion-cubes state” often loses the intent of Jesus Kingdom and purpose in the Gospels.

In recent months I went to some biblical counseling training.  This training had a strong calvinistic influence.  I also saw Gospel reductionism when the conference speakers took one piece of scripture, added human reason, and then conflated it into some bite sized simplistic phrases to make their point.    I have to admit I have a new pet peave after attending this conference of when “truth” gets overly simplified.  The gospel is meant to transform hearts from the inside out.  Anything less than that is is religious behavior modification.  I felt like the biblical counseling conference, a the end of the day, was religious behavior modification.   I also believe an over-simplification of truth when you are doing counseling can be a bad combination.

I spent 3 weekends in this training and I could  write much more but my intent is to say that Gospel reductionism is everywhere… not just the ELCA Lutheran Church.   The Gospel itself is counter-intuitive and complex and it should draw us into the complexity of human nature!

This Gospel reductionism often comes out in the posture we have toward groups of people that are different from us.  I mean, its easy to have a good posture with people that are just like us!  Do we believe we are part of the “system of truth” and others are not?  How do we present ourselves to people we consider outsiders?   Matthew 9:13 discusses the attitude of the pharisees toward Jesus, his disciples,  and sinners of the worst kind when Jesus says “Go and learn what this means, I desire mercy not sacrifice.”  A statement directly and compassionately directed at the pharisees “we are the religious establishment and you are not” mentality.

Do we show mercy to people that you don’t consider to be a part of your system?  Probably something we all have to work on!

All for Jesus!

 

 

 

 

Parenting Between Pillars

I thought I would share an e-mail I wrote to my daughter and her husband as they approach, in May, the birth of our Grandson!

Hi Kendra, Aaron,

 

As you approach a new season in life I felt the urge to share some deep thoughts with you.  The purpose of this e-mail is to describe what I would do differently if I was starting out as a new parent today.  In other words, if I could go back and re-start my parenting life with what I know today what would I do differently?  What have I learned along the way?

I was reading that a book that a friend/author wrote. He said he was talking to a songwriter and the topic they were discussing reminded him of a song titled “If the record does not have the grooves you can’t play the song”.  Your a little too young to remember vinyl records but the records had grooves on them and a needle would follow along on the grooves to play a song.  Anyhow, this is just a way of saying its difficult to parent any differently than your parents because you bring in your own pre-recorded grooves from your family of origin.  Mom brought in grooves from her family of origin and I brought in grooves from my family of origin.  The  purpose of this e-mail is to share with you the new grooves I had to learn along the way. To share with you the grooves I wish I had when I started out parenting.   Many of the grooves I had to learn the hard way. My hope is that you can start out your season of parenting with all  these grooves fully intact and you can start out parenting where I left off.

I also know that you already know much of what is below.  You are starting in a better spot than Sue and I did as parents.  However,  when the craziness of life takes over its important to remember the big picture. So give me a few paragraphs.
So for the purpose of making an important point I am calling this “Parenting between Pillars”.  The two pillars represent two ends between which we parent.


1. Parent between the Pillars of Truth and Grace

In Joshua Straub’s book Safe House he discusses a primarily Christian phenomenon that he calls the uneven house of truth.  On these pages he  says families heavy on truth and light on grace make it “emotionally unsafe” for Children to share deep thoughts and feelings. Grace gives richness and depth to Gods truth’s that truth alone can not give.

Summary Point:  Be good at truth but be great at grace.

2. Parent Between the Pillars of Time-outs and Time-Ins

As you start out parenting baby J will not have the capacity to control his own feelings, thoughts, and curiosities.  You will be responsible for him not touching the stove, not crossing  the street to pet the dog, etc.  There will be time when you may have to discipline and do time-outs. As baby J passes through the middle years, you will have to help him learn to take control and process his own thoughts and feelings.  This will be done by talking and processing thoughts and feelings together.  You may have to ask him, “I hear your feeling frustrated?  What is the thought behind that feeling?”  Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to behaviors.  Be curious and ask ask more questions as he gets older … rather than just giving advice and relying on quick fixes!   As Baby J matures you will have to transition away from time outs to time-ins where you spend time processing the thoughts and feelings of Baby J. The time-ins are the times you take to talk and help Baby J learn to process thoughts,  feelings, and make sense and meaning of the world!  Help him/her write his own story of life rather than re-write one of your stories.

Summary Point: Be good at time outs (discipline) but be great at time ins.

3. Parent between the Pillars of Emotional Safety and Curiosity

Even when discipline is necessary it will be important for him to feel emotionally safe.  As a young child it will be necessary to discipline at times.  But even discipline, when done right, will allow for the child to feel that home is emotionally safe. This emotionally safe attachment to a parent  will allow your child to curiously explore the world and to grow into the child God intended him/her to be.

Summary Point: A child with a safe attachment to  parents and home  will result in a child that is emotionally safe and able to curiously explore the world without fear.

 

4. Parent between the Pillars of a Narrow Funnel and Wide Funnel

A narrow funnel represents being restrictive and a wide funnel represents giving freedom.  As a young child it will be important to not allow him/her access to a hot stove, sharp objects, etc. Your funnel must be narrow and restrictive to make sure the child is safe.  As a child matures its your responsibility to let them go and let them grow.  Some parents make the mistake of being too restrictive for too long.  Then when kids older they get rebellious.  Others make the mistake of allowing too much freedom too young. Then when they are out of control they have to reign them in and make the wide funnel narrow and more restrictive.  Making the funnel narrow  once it has been wide is hard process for a parent.   They have given too much freedom before the children had enough self control to handle those freedoms.

As your child grows it will be important to give age appropriate freedoms.  You can give them those freedoms when they have the self control to handle those freedoms. The funnel moves from narrow to wide, age appropriately.

Summary Point: Be good at narrow funnel but be wise at wide funnel


5. Parent between the Pillars of Old School and New School
Today’s world has brought in a lot of new complexity.  We had great parenting traditions in the past…. but there are things going on today that are completely different than what Mom and I had deal with in parenting you.  For example, you are a part of the first generation that has been online and plugged in wherever they go.  Cyber threats to children are real today.  In the next few years you will be hearing more about things like facebook addictions, gaming addictions, online gambling addictions,  porn addictions, and a gamut of new things that have not been named yet.  I am going to encourage you to be on the front end of this and learn as much about it as you can before Baby J is born.  It will be important for you to find strategic times to put the screens down for intentional and real relationship building. Josh Straub in his book recommends parents of the 21st century have  an e-nuptual going into parenting,   In other words agree on how you, as a family, handle screen time.  Be intentional about moments to put the screens down and do uninterrupted relationship.  Be realistic.
I actually have purchased you an e-Christmas present that you can view online. Here is a link to several short videos (5-10 min each) from Josh Straub on creating a screen balanced family.  ( http://www.joshuastraub.com/the-screen-balanced-family-videos : Access Code XXXXXXX ).  Also his workbook can be downloaded here:   No LINK.   Josh is passionate about helping new parents parent in the 21st century.
Whatever e-nuptual you and Aaron agree on Mom and I plan on following suit at our home as well.  So in in a way your e-nuptual will also be starting a new method of parenting for all the subsequent Spadino/Johnson kids, grand kids,  and great grand kids to follow.

Summary Point:  Screen time in today’s world can not be avoided, but we must have real relationship to flourish!

6. Parent with a divine and healthy priority system
This one might be the most important and difficult one to do!
Even though I believe in the goal of having a child that is safely attached to parents and emotionally safe…. that idea alone can lead to child centered parenting.  As Baby J matures it will be easy for you to make Baby J the center of life and decision making.  As time goes on it will be easy to lose sight of important aspects of your faith, marriage, .and no longer have time for spiritual and emotional self care. The speed of life takes over!  It will be important at times to refocus and recenter your thinking around Christ and re-establish a divine and healthy priority system.
Christ is first, marriage, children third.  I am going to encourage you to put children third on the list.  In today’s world you need to beware of child-centered parenting where we place children at the center of the household.  Children need to feel  safe and like they are an important aspect of a family… not be the center of it.
Scripture also gives two greatest commandments: (1) Love God, and (2) Love others as you love yourself. Notice the word yourself.  You are included toward the top of the list of people to love. So take time for self care and take care of yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Find moments to make yourself a priority.  Take time for emotional self-care.  As you inevitably and at times let go of this priority system take some time and re-sync your marriage and re-establish spiritual and emotional priorities to stay healthy.  Your children  will thank you for it!
 
Summary Point: Beware of child centered parenting and making your children and marriage an idol!   Establish and continuously re-establish the divine and healthy priority system of scripture in marriage and parenting. Christ, marriage (self included),  children.
I love you guys, I know you both will make great parents!

I Love You,

Dad

The Uneven House of Truth

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is…
(Truth) We are more sinful and weak than we ever cared to admit AND…
(Grace) We are more loved and accepted than we ever dared to hope.

Truth and Grace

I was reading a portion of Joshua Straub’s new book “Safe House” the other day.   He is a Christian author that has a heart toward mentoring parents in the 21st century. Parening in the 21st century  has some very unique challenges.  Challenges with busyness, technology, online social networking, etc. His book is about raising children who live, love and lead well in the 21st century.

In the book he described something called the “Uneven House of Truth”.  What he said was that two truths exist in scripture…. one is TRUTH and the other is GRACE  What he said was that Christian houses that are heavy on truth and short on grace are environments that create religious “striving” and ultimately become either overtly or covertly emotionally unsafe for children.  These unsafe children then either become pleasers or rebellious.  This emotionally unsafe environment does not allow children to explore the world in ways a normal. healthier child would.  The end results is it creates a covert or overt  environment of fear!  He went on to say that good parenting is less about your position and more about your posture… and research proves this over and over again.

You see this all the time in the blogosphere,,, people always trying to WIN an argument using TRUTH!  It could be Christian truth, it could be conservative truth, it could be liberal truth.  It does not really matter.  In the end they are striving to win. In their minds, I am sure, they believe  they are trying to impact the world.   From my perspective, this attempt to win without mercy, love, grace, and understanding never leads to change, growth, or relationship.  Ultimately, an uneven house of truth  leads to people more deeply entrenching their positions and feeling unsafe to trust the other side.  It ultimately leads to broken or trust less relationships.

Jesus always made it safe for sinners struggling with deep issues. People trying to win with truth do not.

Many years ago, my wife and I went to a Church known for “higher truth”.  I really wanted to join this church.  We even saw John Piper on Sabbattical attending this Church,,, and I remember poking my wife in the side and telling “Hey, there is John Piper!” BTW this is not a Church that John Piper is associated with… he was just attending it during his sabbatical.

I really wanted to join this church and I really liked the preaching,,, my wife clearly did not like this church… we had an argument about it.  Her reasons for not liking this church did resonate with me though.  The church had an open microphone after the sermon…. and someone would go to the mic to speak.  The idea was for people to discuss how God was working in their lives.  What happened during the open microphone was hardly ever a real story about how God was working in their lives.  What people really did with the open mic was  restate and remind people of the central doctrines (truths) of their church.  To my wife, and I finally agreed with her, it was not a person being very real and genuine.  It really turned her off.  To this day, I am so glad I listened to the my wife on this matter.

What my wife sensed I believe, is that this Church had an uneven house of truth DNA … and that thread was running through how the people were speaking during the open microphone.

I like how Tim Keller puts it:

Without the power of grace, truth and love cant be combined.

— Tim Keller, The meaning of Marriage

Instead of leaving with a final thought of mine I am going to leave you with one of my favorite verses in scripture.  I want you to focus on the words Jesus says “go and learn what this means”.   What I believe Jesus is saying here is that this is not an easy truth to “do” or to understand.  Rather, he wants us to mull it over and practice it…. even when it seems hard for us to practice it.  I believe if we actually practice mercy,  we just might be using some spiritual “muscles” that may not be used very often…. muscles  that need to made stronger.

Jesus wants us to to understand the truth of the scripture below… especially when our desire is really to WIN!

Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means, I desire mercy not sacrifice.

Truth and Grace