Normally, I would place this on tiddlyspot, However, I dont think I can embed an article there so I am doing it here:
Paul in Romans 12 shows us another way to think of resentment and forgiveness. He says, “Leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written: ‘vengeance is mine…says the Lord” v.19. What *we are being reminded is that all resentment and vengeance is taking on God’s role as judge. It is playing God. But (1) only God is qualified to be judge (we are imperfect and deserve judgment ourselves) and (2) only God knows enough to be judge (we don’t know all about the offender, what he/she has faced and deserves) and (3) Jesus took the judgment of God. So Paul is saying: “Think this! Either these persons you are angry at will repent some day and Jesus will take their judgment, or they will not and God will deal with it. But in either process, you are not involved.” “Pride won’t allow forgiveness; forgiveness won’t allow pride”. If you cannot forgive, it is because you are sure that you are not as sinful as the person you are mad at.
Anyhow that last sentence is the one that hit me between the eyes. The article goes on to say:
“[Forgiveness] is more than a matter of refusing to hate someone. It is also a matter of choosing to demonstrate love and acceptance to the offender.”
Thats why a lot of forgiveness is so incomplete.
The complete article is here: lovelovelanguage