This post is going to include a lot of thoughts of mine and I hope I can be coherent in explaining it. This is also somewhat linked to my previous post.
I want to describe two things:
Type 1 Intimacy: This is an intimacy and trust that grows at first in relationships. Its easy, performance based intimacy and trust. An intimacy that will eventually ultimately fail. It does now show the real you but a built up version of you. Type 1 Intimacy is the type that says if you do this behavior I trust you and if you do that behavior I distrust you. If that trust is gained then intimacy is achieved. Its basically peformance based intimacy and trust. In my opinion this trust will ALWAYS eventually fail in most situations since it starts with an inadequate understanding of the human condition. At most relationships can be ONLY be maintained at some level with this type of intimacy. The aroma of legalism and performance based religion surround this intimacy.
Type 2 Intimacy: Hopefully an everlasting type of intimacy and trust based on an acknowledgement of our human condition and frailities. It focusses on vulnerability and being real about ourselves. Type 2 Intimacy and Trust is based on the idea that we are sinful and require a savior. It allows us to share our human frailities. If we can share our human frailities we can also share a much deeper level of how we feel. We dont have to spin and repress the truth abour ourselves. As a result of this we can share a MUCH deeper version of ourselves. It results in the ability to show love on a deeper level than performance based intimacy. Grace, love, and mercy are the aroma this Intimacy gives off.
For me personally Type 2 Intimacy means I can share my frailties and my emotions wioth my wife at a much deeper level. Type 2 Intimacy is harder than Type 1 Intimacy. It requires more work. It means sharing a part of ourselves we dont want to share. However, if we dont spin or repress the truth about ourselves this intimacy is much deeper. It implies an emotional and spiritual vulnerability with God and each other.
Now might be a good time to read my vision statement again. In my vision statement I say that I desire to have a intimate relationships (not physical of course 8-)) with other men and my wife. I This vulnerable intimacy is the pathway for all growth in the human walk with a sovereign God. It understands that we all fall short of Gods Glory.
Man has always substituted a lot of shallow, false intimacies for deeper intimacies that were designed by God for us to have. Scott Sauls said in a sermon once that sexual idoloatry (false intimacy) is really a substitute for the God designed intimacy we were meant to have with Christ.
God also created marriage for man to have an intimate companionship with that person. Our society will substitute “quick fix”, shallow intimacies of pornography, adultery, solo sex, etc for that relationship.
So the vision of intimacy with Christ and each other is something that in recent months has been a big part of having an outstanding relationship with my wife. (One I need to get back on track with her) Its not the one we started our marrriage out with but its much deeper and its the one I hope to carry through to heaven. Once again its about shareing our real selves on a deeper emotional level then we did in our past. Its scary to show the true you.
In terms of Christ it means a focus on repentance and understanding my environment of sin so I can do my best to remove sin from myself. I can be real about myself. In Christ, my savior, I hope to be the best person I can but I already know the battle was completely won for me on the Cross which allows me to work on my sin but also have a great joy and assurance simultaneously.
Hope that makes sense