Recently at work, we had to do self evaluations to prepare for our performance evaluations that our manager will give. Last year, I got almost a perfect rating. This year I wont fair as well and it was kind of a “rough year” at work with some very intense things including layoffs at work and run-ins with “type A” personalities trying to control their part of my companies universe.
I feel as if the new fiscal year is starting out much better and my new position is much more under control than it was 6 months ago. Anyhow, in the light of doing professional self-evaluations I have mentally given myself a few “personal” evaluations. I wrote a BLOG item a year or two back that I wanted to work on. I give myself “B” on what I have termed grace legalism. I also give myself a solid “B” on other things I have been struggling with. Read Below for a description of grace legalism:
I have a 90/10 principal that I try to keep in balance in my life. The rule stated is this: I try to see scripture 90% of the time as internal to me and 10% of it applicable to the world out there. I also like to talk to Christians that seem to have this same rule. In other words I want to internalize scripture as much as I can. My fear is if I invert 90/10 to 10/90 then I will start labelling other Christians, place myself over them, and start developing a sense of superiority …. and I have seen an extreme exaample of this in some of my closest friends causing a notable life-altering story that I will only share with my closest cell group friends. This life-altering experience is probably my main reason for having the 90/10 rule in my life to serve as a guide.
However, having said that I have a form of grace-legalism that I struggle with due to this life-altering thing that happened to me. I tend to have an unloving heart toward people that are acting in unloving ways [or unloving pharisees]. Mostly this is a passive unloving attitude — its not actively unloving of others. I also distrust people who lead with truth and obedience without first getting real about their own sin as they tend to so easily point out the sin in others and look down on all other people as they develop a sense of superiority in being in the truth.
This is something I sincerely need to work on.