Intimacy: Don’t manage your problems

I have come to the conclusion that I can NOT manage my problems.  This is why I so boldly proclaim the centrality of the gospel.    I had a friend once that was having some issues and, in my opinion, was trying to manage his wife  as they dealt with their issues.  I have also tried to manage my problems and my sin.  Its a lost cause that will have varying degrees of effectivity.  The gospel message tells us:

The Gospel of Jesus Christ and Jesus’ purpose on the cross tell us …
We are more sinful and weak than we ever cared to admit and (why Jesus had to die for me) …
We are more loved and accepted than we ever dared to hope (why Jesus was glad to die for me).

In the odd economy of the cross there is no room for pride to exist.  We are ALL sinners and fall short of the glory of God. This knowledge allows men and husbands and  wives to quit “managing” their problems and to lay down their issues in front of each other (and in front of the cross)  and start talking turkey.  To start learning the skills of real intimacy and being transparent in a real way to each other if we deeply understand the complete and total depravity of man.

Also, if your wife or a group of men can also share this vulnerable intimacy this has a doubling effect as we share our sins and concerns in an open way.

A deep understanding of the gospel allows you to “feel the real” without being crushed by your own sin  because Jesus said “It is finished”.  A healthy person has learned to feel the real and to see the pain and suffering in his/her life and he/she can still live in the bold freedom of the cross.

In Christ,



5 thoughts on “Intimacy: Don’t manage your problems

  1. Kevin

    Iam a recovering alcoholic, born again believer and I agree that transparencey is so much needed in our lives, but find people are so full of fear of the unknown.

  2. centralityofthegospel Post author

    Hey Kevin, glad you stopped by. Taking risks to be honest and risks to face pain are always worth it. A deep understanding of the Gospel should allow us to face this pain without being crushed by our past.

  3. Heather

    Brothers, if a man is overtaken in a fault, you the spiritual ones restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.
    Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the Law of Christ.
    For if anyone thinks himself to be something, being nothing, he deceives himself.
    But let each one prove his own work, and then he alone will have a boast in himself, and not in another.
    For each one will bear his own load. Galatians 6:1-5

    Jesus said we each need to take up our own cross in order to follow Him. That involves humility before the Lord and a willingness to have our sinfulness exposed so that we may repent. We are loved and disciplined as sons for Christ’s sake.

    Yet, He has given us a Family on whom we ought to be able to lean when the storms of life slam into us full force.

    Far too often, professing believers are concerned with external appearance rather than the hearts of our brothers and sisters. And because of the emphasis on facade, the hurting ones often become isolated and end up as perfect targets for the darts of the enemy.

    It is a shameful thing and we certainly can do better than we have in the past.

    God bless.

  4. centralityofthegospel Post author

    In my own experiences, we can understand scripture and “work” to be more holy…. but real holiness and real humility comes from a deep understanding of our sin.

    With a lot of the “religious speak” in the world, we need to ask who do you allow into your inner circle and that you really trust. For me its other men and people who have learned the discipline of transparency and have learned to be “heart to heart” men ( as well as my spouse).

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