A crisis of faith and belief

Today I am feeling thankful.  I have come to realize that God has created a crisis of belief and faith in me over the last 15 years.   Years ago. I was rejected by some close Christian Friends. My friends wife basically told me I could not have lunch with her husband. Some of this had to do with my issues and sin…. but this couple had a history of broken relationships that continued both before and after this incident with me.  The purpose of us doing lunch was to process our sin and to become better people and Christians,  However, this couple saw the world through black and white, all or nothing, legalistic lense.  Even thought they had a tone of moralism and ethics …. their black and white thinking did not “act in line” with the truth of the Gospel.  They had, in my opinion, a very high spiritual IQ but a very low emotional IQ.  Their black and white, all or nothing tone was the reason for broken relationships and the reason for a poor marriage. Their religious legalism reflected their heart just as much as their (or my) worldly sins reflected ours.

This crisis of faith caused me to see God in new ways.  I knew that whatever my faith would look like I did not want it look like theirs.  Today, I am thankful for this crisis of faith. It created a new me that sees Grace and Mercy in deeper ways.

I talked to my wife recently about letting go of the idea of ever reconciling with this couple again.  Even thought this  reconciliation process would create much growth, I have made a decision to let go. I know that no matter what I do God will keep working for the good of those who love him.  For me, my wife, and this other couple.

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